During Chinese New Year this year, I visited my friend’s house.

We were childhood friends, and over the years, we had remained close. I remember visiting his home when we were kids and seeing how happy his parents were together. But when I visited them again after more than ten years, things had changed.

His parents seemed to have lost their connection, spending very little time together.

I recall how his father used to hold his mother’s hand as they strolled outside. Back then, I thought they were so happy, and I silently vowed to find someone who would treat me the same way.

However, years later, when his parents were in their forties, everything was different. It seems that many couples in their 40s start drifting apart, forgetting the true meaning of marriage.

Time heals, but it also inflicts wounds upon us.

Life presents many situations that leave us sighing in regret, especially in marriage, where disappointments can gradually set in.

Feelings Can Fade Away

Love can fade over time.

At the beginning of a relationship, or even before it starts, you may feel like the other person is your whole world. You believe that you must be with them and spend your life together. As the relationship stabilizes, you may think that you both are the happiest couple in the world.

In love, everyone starts out feeling incredibly happy, but things can change. Some relationships fade quickly, leading to breakups during the dating phase. For others, the love may fade much later, perhaps after a decade of marriage.

However, for many, feelings do fade. Only a few relationships continue to thrive, with both partners inseparable.

Realizing You Aren’t Their World Anymore

You used to think that someone was your entire world, that they would only treat you well, and that they would never change their heart. You held onto their promises, believing you were the luckiest person alive.

But as time passes, you realize how naive you were. What you thought was an unbreakable bond can weaken after marriage, especially after hitting your forties.

Many say marriage hits a rough patch around the seven-year mark, but isn’t this true for most marriages?

During marital challenges, some learn to turn a blind eye, suppress their tears, and settle for a mediocre life with their partner, each going their separate ways, no longer caring for each other.

However, some people cannot settle for mediocrity. When they see their relationship fading, they choose to part ways or divorce.

Don’t overestimate your place in someone else’s heart. High expectations often lead to disappointment. Sometimes, we believe we are valued as a friend, only to realize we mean nothing to them.

Similarly, in love, we may think someone treats us well and will continue to do so. We may believe we are their treasure, only to discover things are not as we imagined. When things change, it can be heartbreaking due to our high expectations of the person and the situation.

Marriage Requires Mutual Support

In marriage, it’s essential to support each other. Everyone feels lonely in this world, and finding a partner gives life a new meaning.

“Life is tough for everyone, so find someone to weather the storms with you.”

Support in marriage doesn’t just mean sharing material burdens but also engaging in deep conversations and providing emotional companionship. Mutual support leads to a fulfilling life together.

As stability sets in around your forties, and the burdens lighten, choosing to go your separate ways indicates that your marriage is merely a contract. When you no longer depend on each other, one might be pushed away.

A loving marriage shouldn’t be like this. If it has come to such a point, it’s a sign that it may soon end.

Be grateful and remember why your partner chose to be with you. Stay true to your initial intentions to ensure a brighter future together.

Nurturing a Good Marriage Requires Joint Efforts

Our neighbor divorced her husband after they hit their forties. The reason was their growing communication gap and fewer shared interests, leading to more conflicts and eventual separation.

Their divorce stemmed from not addressing conflicts early in their marriage. Many issues arise in marriage that require timely resolutions, emphasizing the need for mutual communication in a healthy marriage.

People can’t read minds, so assumptions alone can lead to misunderstandings and arguments when facing difficulties.

Therefore, communication is key to managing a marriage. During tough times, comforting and supporting each other is crucial.

As you age, you’ll realize that the person by your side isn’t your child, parent, or relative but your spouse. A wise person values and cherishes their partner, as they are the one who will accompany them throughout life.

You may have conflicts with your partner, but when you fall ill, they will be the one most concerned about you. Despite any coldness between you, they will still care when you face problems.

Many fail to appreciate their partners when young, only realizing the depth of their loneliness when older.