In life, no one can avoid getting angry or losing their temper. But some people can control their emotions just right, and that’s admirable.

When you don’t get angry, you win.

Think about it, most of the time when we get angry, we’re actually competing with ourselves. It’s like hitting a mental barrier, or punishing ourselves with someone else’s mistakes, making ourselves uncomfortable.

Sometimes we get mad at ourselves for doing something stupid. But in the end, all that anger only harms ourselves. So why bother?

Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s normal. We need to face it with a calm mind. If you keep worrying about gains and losses, you’ll end up exhausted.

Some things may make you angry at the moment, but later on, you realize it’s not worth it. You need to learn not to get angry first before trying to drive people crazy. This is for all women.

Many people claim they can’t control their temper, especially when they’re angry. Anger can cloud your mind, and your actions are driven by impulse. But most of the time, when you look back, you realize getting so angry was pointless. It’s like fighting with yourself, and in the end, you’re the only one feeling bad.

I hardly ever get angry because I don’t see the point. If there’s a problem, I solve it. I don’t let others’ mistakes affect me.

But being calm doesn’t mean I have no temper. Not holding grudges doesn’t mean I have a good temper. If you push my limits, I can assure you, I’m not a saint.

Why do people get angry? In what situations do they get angry? For example, imagine a below-average student who finally achieves a good grade through hard work, only to be accused of cheating by teachers, classmates, even parents. Of course, that student would be angry. They feel betrayed, untrusted, and overlooked despite their efforts.

But getting angry won’t change anything. It’s only by consistently achieving good grades, even better ones, that you can prove them wrong. Change their fixed perception of you. It’s deeply rooted in their minds that you’re a below-average student.

I can relate to this. Before sixth grade, I was an average student, ranked around 20–30 in a class of 50–60 students. The teachers and classmates were used to it.

Once during a midterm exam, I ranked fifth. The teacher suspected me of cheating and called me to the office for a talk. I calmly denied it, but I could feel the doubt in their eyes.

The top student I surpassed also thought I cheated my way to success. But by the end of the term, I ranked third. I proved them wrong with my grades. After that, I consistently maintained a top-five position, and no one accused me of cheating again.

So, some things aren’t worth getting angry over. You can always prove them wrong with your abilities.

If someone’s mistake angers you, it’s even more unnecessary. Your body is your own. If someone makes a mistake, punishing yourself with their error is self-destructive. Sometimes, being generous in spirit makes the issue seem smaller.

In this world, we come empty-handed and leave empty-handed. Just as Tsangyang Gyatso said, “Besides life and death, everything else is trivial.”

In life, we’ll encounter situations that make us extremely angry. But so what? You’re angry, but you still have to face it. If it happened, deal with it. What’s the point of getting upset with others or yourself?

It’s well-known that frequent anger harms women’s health. It can lead to issues like pigmentation, hyperthyroidism, myocardial hypoxia, liver damage, lung damage, etc. So, dare to get angry casually?

We might have the ability to drive people crazy, but first, we must control our temper. Don’t harm yourself while trying to harm others. So, how can we avoid getting angry?

Understand the Harm of Anger and Learn to Control Yourself

Often, we focus on getting angry and venting our temper without considering the impact of anger on our health.

This is a common problem. People with heart disease or high blood pressure know not to let their emotions fluctuate too much as it can trigger their conditions. The effects of extreme mood swings caused by anger can’t be ignored.

You might think one or two instances won’t matter much, but everything adds up over time. Just like how a small dam can collapse from termite infestation. If you observe people who get angry easily versus those who don’t, you’ll notice a connection between their behavior and health. Most easygoing people tend to live longer.

Take a Long-Term Perspective on Issues, Don’t Get Stuck in the Present

Often, we get angry because an issue relates to our personal interests, and we care too much about gains and losses. Whether it’s someone else’s fault or our own, we end up feeling frustrated.

But if you think about the issue in the long run, it doesn’t seem that important. You might feel it’s not worth it—it’s a trivial matter not worth getting worked up over.

Our attitudes towards things vary at different stages of life. Just like in our student days, our views on puppy love were a mix of admiration and naivety. Some indulged in secret relationships, fearing parents, teachers, or classmates finding out and teasing them.

Now, looking back, it seems normal. In our country, adulthood starts at 18 for males and 20 for females to get a marriage license. But in other countries, we’d be married by now if it was puppy love.

So, sometimes what made you furious back then might not bother you as much now.

You may have the power to drive people crazy, but before that, learn not to get angry. As they say, “Help yourself before helping others.” This message is for all women.