The elderly often say that when getting married, it’s important to marry someone responsible. It’s not about wealth or looks. But in today’s society, most people are raised in affluence without the hard work ethic of the older generation, often holding onto many bad habits.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment where understanding and companionship are key. Before committing to a man, it’s crucial to observe and test him wisely to avoid regret in the future.
One type to watch out for is men with low self-esteem. They often exhibit three types of “reluctance,” and when you encounter them, it’s best to leave early. Don’t stubbornly believe you can change him or think you’re not important enough.
The First Type: Vanity and Face Concern
Many say they don’t compete for bread but for dignity. This can be misleading as it implies striving for improvement, not pretending to be something you’re not.
Amy and Mike dated for three years. Mike’s family was eager to arrange their marriage and have grandchildren. But Amy hesitated because Mike cared too much about his image, often putting them in awkward situations for the sake of face.
Once at a company dinner, Mike, who usually acted like a rich kid at work, spending lavishly, was not actually wealthy. Despite barely making ends meet, his colleagues thought otherwise. During the dinner, Mike exaggerated and showed off.
Colleagues teased Mike to foot the bill and take everyone to an upscale club. Pressured, Mike reluctantly complied, taking them to an expensive KTV. Amy couldn’t understand why their savings were meant for their wedding, yet Mike spent it on vanity.
Amy disagreed and planned to confront him, but Mike defensively said, “You don’t understand, this is about socializing.” Unaware that his colleagues, aware of the truth, were waiting to see him make a fool of himself, becoming a laughingstock.
Men who are vain and concerned about face are the worst because their lack of adaptability and strategic thinking hinders their success. Regardless of the chances given, their character flaws will hold them back, making them insignificant in the end.
Marriage to such men won’t lead to a better life but rather burden you with constant cleanup, exhausting both physically and emotionally. They flaunt not to showcase themselves but because their inner insecurities prevent them from facing reality.
The Second Type: Conforming to the Masses, Disregarding Right and Wrong
These people lack their own opinions, always following the crowd out of fear of judgment. Psychologically, this reflects their insecurity, seeking conformity to be accepted.
I have a friend, Tom, married for two years. Every time he goes out with colleagues, he conforms to their behavior. Once at a KTV, where everyone hired hostesses for singing and drinking, Tom initially hesitated due to his wife but eventually gave in to peer pressure.
Men without opinions and a sense of self gradually lose their identity. Everyone is unique, and conforming only highlights their insecurities, seeking validation by blending in and concealing their inner fears.
Allow me to be frank; men lacking opinions will lead a mundane life full of uncertainty. Some may play it safe, while others, driven by fear, may make reckless decisions, jeopardizing the relationship and leading to separation.
The Third Type: Unable to Stand Alone, Clinging to Mother
These men are often labeled as “mama’s boys,” overly protected by their families, leading them to seek their mother’s advice when faced with decisions.
Dealing with such men is exhausting as you essentially end up raising a grown child, needing to cater to their every need. In times of conflict between you and their mother, they will unquestionably side with her, adding to your burdens.
The essence of being a mama’s boy fosters insecurities and a dependency that inhibits growth. These men, aware of their weaknesses, will endure the disdainful looks of others, unwilling to rebel due to deep-rooted reliance developed over the years.
This kind of man, entrenched in self-doubt, may choose to maintain the status quo, deceiving themselves into believing it’s acceptable. While some may consider change, their ingrained mindset often prevents it.
Men like these, entrenched in lifelong insecurities, will exhibit the three types of reluctance mentioned. Ladies, when you encounter such men, leave early. They will drag you down, making your marriage and love life painful. Choose someone who understands you well, supports you, and makes your marriage meaningful.
As Guo Qilin once said, “Love is about feeling happier together than alone.”
A relationship filled with sadness and sorrow is a form of self-torment and disrespect. Ladies, choose your partners wisely, find someone you love to spend the rest of your life with!