Tolerance is Emotional, Not Tolerating is the Bottom Line, Don’t Let Others Take Advantage of Your Kindness

When it comes to interpersonal relationships, many people have struggled with this difficult issue.

If you want to be your true self, it may be hard to fit in with the people around you. On the other hand, if you want to please others, you may need to constantly compromise yourself.

Although many people want to “be themselves” once in a while, most of the time, they have to lower their high expectations in the face of harsh reality.

If it’s just a simple friendship, people naturally choose to hang out with like-minded individuals. However, in the workplace, we have to face people who are completely different from us.

To make work smoother and consider the relationships between colleagues, we often choose to tolerate uncomfortable situations, just like a small compromise.

Lily had been working at this company for two years, and many colleagues had come and gone. This is quite normal for an internet company, but a few colleagues, like Lily, had been sticking around.

Logically, two years should have deepened everyone’s emotions, but in reality, Lily found it increasingly difficult to tolerate.

When she first joined the company, everyone was new and naturally became close friends, often chatting and gossiping during breaks.

However, as the company developed, the salaries of different departments were differentiated, and Lily’s editorial department received relatively higher pay.

After a few paydays, colleagues from other departments would often ask Lily about her salary in their chat group, complaining about the company’s unfairness.

In reality, the company’s positions were interchangeable, but these colleagues didn’t want to take on the more stressful editorial role, so they stayed in their own departments, yet were unhappy with their income.

These complaints might be normal for employees, as every company has them.

But slowly, they started to develop hostility towards Lily, even intentionally making things difficult for her and badmouthing her behind her back, which, although not causing her significant harm, still earned her a scolding from her supervisor.

They thought Lily didn’t know, but it was obvious who was behind the scenes.

Not wanting to confront her colleagues, Lily could only tolerate the situation, as she wasn’t ready to quit.

But one thing led to another, and whenever there was a handover of work, if Lily didn’t follow their instructions, no matter the reason, it would escalate into a bigger issue.

Good people will eventually be bullied by evil ones, so we need to learn to adapt to the good and evil around us and become a balanced person.

But how do we achieve that balance? Lily didn’t know, but after another similar incident, she couldn’t take it anymore and reported the work handover conversation to her supervisor, not to make the other party look bad, but simply because she didn’t want to be taken advantage of.

As expected, although Lily got scolded by her supervisor, the colleagues who often reported her were scolded even more severely and even looked like they were about to cry when they came out of the office.

In life, there are countless “Lilys” who often take a tolerant attitude towards things that harm their own interests, but such behavior not only doesn’t change the other party but also makes them more aggressive.

Everyone’s growth environment is different, and their personalities are naturally shaped differently. Therefore, their attitudes towards resolving conflicts at work will also vary. Perhaps, they’re not intentionally trying to hurt you; they just don’t care if you get hurt.

Some people are naturally kind and gentle, often taking a carefree attitude towards things. Good people will be happy to have such colleagues, while those with ugly hearts will see them as “easy targets.”

No one is born to tolerate things that make them unhappy or uncomfortable. It’s not right to let others trample on your kindness just because you’re a good person. Although people are often self-centered, this can’t be used as an excuse to build your happiness on others’ suffering.

In interpersonal relationships, even if we can’t achieve “you respect me, I respect you,” we should at least respect each other, especially not venting our frustrations on others.

It’s not necessary to let too many people into your life. Excessive enthusiasm is often not appreciated, especially in the workplace, where people gather for a purpose, and it’s all about interests rather than emotions.

Because of interests, people form alliances, and because of interests, they break apart. As long as you remember you’re here to work, not to make friends, many things will get their final answers.

Maintain a reasonable distance, tolerate others’ flaws, but don’t suppress your emotions. Remember, tolerance is emotional, not tolerating is the bottom line, and don’t let others take advantage of your kindness.