If your wife loves your husband, then she should love his mom too. It’s not a big deal to put up with some grievances, as she’s your loved one’s mom. In the past, many mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law didn’t get along, not because the mothers-in-law were evil, but because they wanted their daughters-in-law to take care of their husbands well.

In real life, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is hard to handle. As a husband, you’re often stuck between your mom and your wife, and it’s tough to navigate.

Living under the same roof, you can’t avoid conflicts. If you and your mom or your wife don’t get along, it’s a huge pain.

Nobody likes someone who always picks fights with them, and nobody likes someone who always argues with them.

When the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law goes sour, the mother-in-law says it’s the daughter-in-law’s fault, and the daughter-in-law says it’s the mother-in-law’s fault. This is like the old saying, “Each side has its own logic.”

Actually, the problem lies not with the mother-in-law or the daughter-in-law, but with the head of the household.

The head of the household isn’t someone who gives orders all the time, but someone who can resolve conflicts and do what’s right for the family. This person is usually the mother-in-law’s son and the daughter-in-law’s husband. Remember, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law revolve around this person, and sometimes conflicts arise because of this person.

Don’t Add Fuel to the Fire

“A person’s words and actions can be different in the daytime and at night, in the light and in the dark.”

Speaking is an art, but if you’re an important person in the family, you should know how to speak wisely.

As the head of the household, if you often speak ambiguously, saying one thing to one person and another to another, you’ll likely cause conflicts.

I remember a neighbor who had a daughter-in-law who ended her life. One day, the daughter-in-law had a huge fight with her mother-in-law, and then she went to her husband and complained. However, instead of comforting her, the husband added fuel to the fire, saying his mom was really bad. Later that night, the mother-in-law went to her son and complained, and the son said the daughter-in-law was really bad. This led to more conflicts, and eventually, the daughter-in-law ended her life.

Sometimes, one wrong move can lead to disaster. As the saying goes, “One thought can make you a Buddha, and one thought can make you a demon.”

Learn to Handle Conflicts with Emotional Intelligence

Chekhov said, “You can’t conquer others with kindness, and you can’t conquer them with violence either.”

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can’t resolve conflicts. This is because you didn’t approach the problem with emotional intelligence and try to resolve the conflict reasonably.

During the New Year, I bought a short-sleeved shirt for my boyfriend because he lived in the south, where it’s still warm. When his mom received the package, she said, “This shirt looks really cheap, like it only costs a few bucks.”

Later, my boyfriend got angry with me, thinking his mom was right that the shirt was cheap. Actually, I had checked online, and the shirt was from a niche brand with good quality. However, my boyfriend didn’t care that I might have been cheated by the online store; instead, he blamed me for buying cheap stuff.

I was really hurt by his mom’s comment, and I started to question whether I could get along with her in the future.

This incident shows that someone needs to have emotional intelligence to handle conflicts. When doing something, you need to know what to say and what not to say. Even if you think something, you can’t say it to your mom or wife, as it might cause conflicts.

Learning to handle conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law requires high emotional intelligence. If someone lacks emotional intelligence, they might create more conflicts between the two, making it impossible to resolve their conflicts.

As Einstein said, “The most beautiful thing in the world is to have a few honest and upright friends.”

Having a fair and honest family member is truly precious.

So, as the son and husband, don’t add fuel to the fire between your mom and wife. Don’t think that saying something to please one person will make them grateful; a wise person will know that your actions are like adding fuel to the fire, which will only make family conflicts worse.

In real life, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is hard to handle. When conflicts arise, the mother-in-law thinks the daughter-in-law is bad, and the daughter-in-law thinks the mother-in-law is evil.

Actually, the root of the conflict often lies with the son or husband. Sometimes, the son or husband doesn’t handle the conflict well, which makes things worse.

So, when a woman gets married, she should not only look at her mother-in-law but also at how her husband handles things. Is he a fair and upright person?

Men should also know that handling the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not just about their mom and wife, but also about their own responsibility.

A good man can be the lubricant in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, while a bad man can be the spark that ignites the conflict.