As the old saying goes: “A kind word can warm people for three winters, while a cruel word can chill people for six months.”

When interacting with others, the first thing we do is communicate.

How a person speaks not only reflects their attitude towards life but also reveals their character.

Measure Your Words

My cousin, Tina, is 31 years old, a Ph.D. holder, and although she hasn’t found her Mr. Right, she’s living a fulfilling life.

Her friend, Rachel, who’s around the same age, already has a kid in first grade. Perhaps because Rachel can’t stand Tina’s lifestyle, every time they meet, Rachel would say things like, “You’re getting older, and it’s harder to get married” or “You’re a female Ph.D., you’re doomed to be single.” Tina got so annoyed that she eventually cut off all ties with Rachel.

Tina said this wasn’t the first time she’d offended someone with her words.

There are people like Rachel who like to build their happiness on others’ misery, as if they can only feel superior by belittling others.

Pretending to be concerned, they’d repeatedly hurt others, which is really low-class.

Set Boundaries

As Marshall Luxembourg said, “We may not think our way of speaking is violent, but language can indeed cause pain to ourselves and others.”

Colleague, Alex, is a military wife, and her husband is stationed at the border. He can only come home once a year.

During the National Day holiday, Alex mentioned that she’d gone to visit her husband, and someone suddenly said, “If I were you, I wouldn’t marry him. It’s like being single anyway.”

“You don’t know what he’s doing when he’s away, and you’re just sitting around idle.”

Alex’s face turned red, and she immediately left.

The gossiping colleague even said they were just trying to remind Alex, but who knew she couldn’t take a joke?

In reality, there are many ways to be happy, and Alex’s sacrifices for love are enormous. But making fun of others’ feelings and then changing the subject is really low-class.

What might be painful to you might be someone else’s happiness. What you aspire to might be a heavier burden for others.

We need to set boundaries and measure our words. We shouldn’t maliciously speculate about others, nor should we pour cold water on others’ enthusiasm.

Control Your Emotions

People often vent their negative emotions to their loved ones.

However, sometimes just one sentence can be the last straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Recently, I saw a news report that touched me deeply.

A middle school student was scolded by his teacher and parents for talking during class. His mother, without asking what happened, directly slapped him dozens of times and cursed, “You’re useless, better off dead.”

Later, the boy took advantage of a moment when his mother and teacher were talking and jumped from the fifth floor, killing himself.

Everything happened too suddenly, and who would have thought that the mother’s angry words would be her last conversation with her son?

One comment stuck with me: a family tragedy often starts with a careless remark.

The closer the relationship, the easier it is to ignore the other person’s feelings and vent our emotions, causing deeper hurt.

If the mother had communicated with her son properly, perhaps the tragedy wouldn’t have occurred.

Language has emotions and temperatures, and it’s crucial to measure our words, whether with strangers or loved ones.

Words spoken can be like nails on a board, leaving permanent scars, and the hurt they cause won’t diminish over time. Eventually, friends will turn against each other, and family members will drift apart, leaving only loneliness.

As Hemingway said, “We spend two years learning to speak, but a lifetime learning to shut up.”

Talkative people often give the impression of being shallow, and “disaster comes from the mouth.” If what you say can’t bring more value or comfort than silence, it’s wise to keep quiet.

Speaking with measure, being empathetic, knowing what to say and what not to say, and being mindful of others’ feelings can make people feel comfortable and build beautiful relationships, leading to a more harmonious life.