A variety show featured a 36-year-old female PhD seeking marriage, but her three requirements sparked ridicule from many.
This female PhD didn’t initially want to participate in the show, but her mother dragged her onto the stage. At 36, the PhD was concerned about her mother’s feelings and decided to take part.
When the host asked about her marriage requirements, the PhD listed three:
- Shared values and thoughts;
- A car and a house;
- Good looks.
The PhD thought these requirements were normal, but the audience burst into laughter.
Someone in the crowd shouted, “Waiting to be a grandma?” The PhD smiled calmly, unfazed by the criticism.
Shared Values and Thoughts
Famous host Yang Lan said, “Loving someone first depends on whether you share values and thoughts.”
Yang Lan believes that if you love someone, you must have shared values and thoughts. If you do, being together won’t be difficult.
Yang Lan emphasized that even after marriage, it’s essential to maintain a shared vision:
“Marriage is about two people constantly updating and loving each other.”
Having shared values and thoughts is crucial. Many couples divorce because they lose their common language, becoming unsure of what to say to each other.
When the PhD sought a partner with shared values and thoughts, many mocked her. However, she simply wanted someone who shared her thoughts.
If the PhD were to find a farmer who grows potatoes, their lifestyles would differ. The farmer has their advantages, and the PhD has hers. Although both are excellent, their strengths don’t align, making it difficult for them to be together.
Despite the ridicule, the PhD’s requirement wasn’t flawed. In life, it’s essential to find someone who shares your language. Without it, the relationship will struggle, even if you’re both excellent.
Marriage isn’t a game. If you find someone incompatible, even if you’re at a certain age, don’t settle. If you’re unhappy with your partner, you’ll be miserable every day.
A Car and a House
The PhD’s second requirement was a car and a house.
Famous philosopher Marx said, “Economic foundation determines the superstructure.”
A psychologist’s demand theory states that the most basic requirement is to solve the problem of survival, including food, clothing, and shelter.
If someone can’t even solve their own survival problems, choosing to be with them will lead to suffering, especially if you have children.
The PhD didn’t specify that the partner must have a good house or car; the requirement was for material security. If two people are homeless, their love won’t last long.
On the other hand, the PhD can buy a house and a car herself, so it’s not excessive to ask a man to have these as well.
People often say, “A door must match a door.” If a woman has a house and a car, and a man wants to be with her without these, isn’t that being a freeloader?
The ridicule might be jealousy, as many people are like foxes who can’t get grapes and instead laugh to solve their problems.
Ordinary people getting married would also require a partner with a car and a house, not to mention a PhD who already has these.
Good Looks
The PhD’s third requirement was that her partner must have good looks.
When the PhD appeared on stage, everyone could see that she was beautiful, with a tall stature and an elegant demeanor.
However, when she required her partner to have good looks, many people laughed, thinking she might not find someone.
Perhaps people think age is crucial, believing that a 36-year-old woman might not find a man with good looks.
However, the PhD’s definition of good looks isn’t just about appearance; it’s about having a good aura, without a wandering gaze.
For someone who values looks, finding a partner with good looks is reasonable, especially when the requirement is not excessively high.
Many women live their lives with their own personalities, knowing how to navigate their paths.
My university professor is such a woman, with high standards and excellent skills, but still unmarried at almost 40.
Many people wonder why the professor hasn’t married, with some even gossiping about her being too picky.
These people are concerned about others, but the professor knows what she wants and how to live her life.
Many people are concerned about others, criticizing their lifestyles, but they don’t provide any help. Instead, they waste their breath.
Cyberbullying has become a significant problem in our society, with many people insulting others online.
As humans, we must learn to respect others, not giving them unnecessary pressure or criticism.